Five Secrets to a Healthy Relationship with Yourself
By: Katy Berezny
Guess what? I am finally learning to love myself. As hard as it is to put myself first, I am trying very hard to. I know by reading that many will agree and some may even laugh. Really it is very serious.
You see when you grow up finding happiness in making other people happy; you will always look for that one full filling thing. You will never find it. I know this from experience.
Sometimes you tend to look to others to make you happy. You’re still missing the whole point in the one full filling thing that you alone must find. Although things surrounding you can have an impact on your happiness, happiness is still found within yourself.
Tip #1 - To Love Yourself
How can you expect others to love you when you don't even love yourself? Perhaps you are always down on yourself which reflects lack of love. Growing up in abusive environments can leave you with lack of love for yourself, simply because you don't know how to. In order to truly love yourself, you must forgive yourself.
Tip #2 - Forgiving your Past Faults
Not to talk religion but I believe in God and I believe He forgives. If He can forgive then who are we not to forgive? That includes YOURSELF. If we can learn to forgive ourselves for mistakes that we have made, we will have a sense of freedom within. Holding unforgiveness causes bitterness, which is self destructive. You cannot have a healthy relationship with unforgiveness, that includes one with yourself.
Tip #3 - Self Respect and Dignity
Now this is a touchy subject for me. I partially grew up in a home with no self dignity. I had no self respect in the way I acted and dressed. I had a 'could care less' bad attitude, while I walked around in my skin tight daisy dukes. Now we cannot possibly love our self or respect our self for that matter, if we flaunt our bodies like that. If we cannot do that, we surely cannot expect anyone else to respect us. Lacking self respect is dangerous and could get you into a lot of emotional and even physical trouble.
Tip #4 - Self Confidence and Endurance
Sometimes we have to encourage ourselves to be all we can be. Although it is nice coming from others, we really need to do it for ourselves. It makes us stronger and builds our faith up to where we know we can finish the race. Push yourself with balance. Do not overdue it, but set goals and desires, then have the endurance and confidence to reach and accomplish them.
Tip #5 - Trust Yourself
Sometimes when we hurt others, we lose trust in our own self. We fear we may hurt someone again so we tend to be secluded or shy away from things or people. It may seem like lack of trust in others, but usually it is a little of both. Perhaps we have crossed a line in the past and we are scared that we may have to face that again so we lack trust in ourselves to face the problem or situation at hand.
I hope these tips have helped you. We all learn from experience. Talking out your problem with others will help you to overcome a lot of the walls that are building between you and yourself. Remember also to make time for you as well. Do something you enjoy. Wake up with a smile on your face and a song in your heart, and you will be alright!!
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As seen in the January Issue of Main Street Magazine.
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